I’m back.

That’s right, I’m bringing this blog back. I’ve been reading too many uninteresting blogs lately, and I’ve decided to bring back this site to squeeze just a little bit more knowledge into everyone’s lives. I’m going to be updating this on a daily basis, so make sure to bookmark it or at least visit often enough to keep it on the Firefox drop-down bar that we all know and love.

For those that know me, life’s been alright in 2008. Pretty much the same old business, as I’m sure it has been for you as well. I’ve been kept busy by important things; you know, like watching the same Democratic primary news every single day. I know, right, why even write a blog when I have to compete with stuff like that?

I’ll start this off with a topic we’re all interested, a man we all know and love – an actor, singer, songwriter, role-model, friend, and American hero…..yes, you got it – Will Smith.

We’ve all been privy to Mr. Smiff’s greatness over the past decade or two; such masterpieces as Independence Day, Gettin’ Jiggy With It, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Willenium (Will2k), and Bad Boys will all have special places in our hearts. The other day as I was watching the previews before the new Indiana Jones movie, I saw the preview for his newest film “Hancock,” in which he plays a superhero who must overcome his own faults to pull through and save the day. It definitely looked pretty good, and I made a mental note of it to watch it in a few months when it came out.

The previews went on, and we came upon the preview for “Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.” Now anyone who actually saw Hellboy 1 (? Can I even call it Hellboy 1? It doesn’t sound right, it would be like if Disney made a Lion King 2 and 3 and then we had to call the original “Lion King 1″. Oh wait…..) can tell you that movie fucking sucked, and that this sequel would undoubtedly be 10 times worse. Sure enough, by the end of the preview I was amazed by how bad it looked. But then I got to thinking….what if they just took Hellboy out of that movie, and replaced him with…… Will Smith? Suddenly, the gaping plot holes begin to fill, the awful transition scenes are replaced with rap montages, the terrible dialogue is replaced with awesome Will Smiff 1-liners.

The thought suggested itself: what exactly wouldn’t be better with more Will Smith? Democratic nomination troubles? No problem, Will Smith is cooler than Obama (bonus: he’s black too!), smarter than Hillary, and would have probably lasted 3 times as long as McCain if he was captured as a POW. Earthquake in China? It’s fine, Will Smith can put on a huge rap concert and the beats will be so loud they will shake the tectonic plates back into place. NBA playoff ref calls looking sketchy? Just put Will Smiff in as the only official for every game. In fact, just put Will Smiff on whatever team he wants, and let them win the Finals. And make a movie about it, of course, with an accompanying soundtrack composed of….you guessed it, Will Smiff.

I challenge anyone to procure a scenario that would not be positively benefited by the addition of Will Smith. Let me just save you some time right now though: You’re not going to find one. Long after the human race has been wiped out, Will Smith will still be going strong, killing zombies, kicking asses, and making history.