It’s about that time again…….

……time to make some more fun of people who buy bottled water. http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/34361/the-truth-about-bottled-water/. Ahhh, it just never gets old. Fucking yuppies.

Remembering people’s names

Well I’m posting from the library, so I don’t have any of my interesting links to post. Whenever I see something funny/interesting on the internet, I just bookmark it so I can come back to it later. But there’s nothing in Odegaard library except a shit ton of azns and a thermostat that’s always turned up waaaaaay too high.

I was talking with this girl yesterday about remembering people’s names. It seems to me that a lot of people are either really good or really bad at this….they usually fall into one of the extremes. When I ran my own business, I would remember everyone’s name. All it took is for me to meet someone once and I’d never forget their name after that. It was really easy.

But since then, I have gotten absolutely terrible at learning people’s names. I seriously don’t remember anyone’s name unless they are a very attractive woman or an extremely interesting person, both demographics which are sadly vastly outnumbered by people who don’t fall into those categories. A while back I realized that it’s because I really just don’t give a shit about the vast majority of people, so I never bother to remember their names or details about them anymore. Most people are just so stupid, boring, and uninteresting that I really don’t see the purpose in remembering all this information about them.

Also, I hate it when people try to use random mnemonics to remember my name/someone else’s name or make an impression. Ever met someone who always makes sure to repeat a name a bunch so their brain implants it in memory? Yeah, it’s fucking annoying. Nobody thinks you are a cool guy because you remember people’s names. Only 14  year old girls at 70 year old guys are impressed by that.

So don’t be offended if I don’t remember your name – it’s probably just because you’re a boring-ass individual. No hard feelings.

Y Chromosome disappearing?

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MensHealthNews/Story?id=8104217&page=1

I thought that this article was really interesting. It explains that the many mutations that the Y chromosome has built up over the millenia has caused it to slowly deteriorate and lose genes. Scientists estimate that within the forseeable future of our species, the Y chromosome could actually disappear from human DNA. Apparently humans would just find other ways to reproduce.

Really stupid people driving = scary, Ron Artest’s music continues to awe and inspire

Yesterday as I was walking home, I saw one of the most pathetic/frightening things I have witnessed in a while: a morbidly obese fat woman driving a minivan. Ok, so that’s not very gross by itself. But the woman was also talking on her cell phone while driving. Ok ok, that’s unsafe, but people do that all the time. But while she was talking on her cell phone with her left hand, she was EATING A PIECE OF CHICKEN with her other hand. That’s right, she was talking on the cell phone, eating a drumstick of chicken, and steering with her knees. Honestly, why are people like this even allowed to exist? I almost wanted to run up to the side of the car, open the door, and pull her out and throw her on the street, because I highly doubt that fat waste of carbon would have been able to move her fat body all the way back up into the car without assistance.

On a more positive note for the community, Ron Artest has really upgraded and streamlined his website at http://www.ronartest.com/. It has a hilarious intro page, but the real fun begins when you get into the website’s actual content. You are immediately greeted with a steady stream of Ron Artest hits, which play in the background. Don’t worry – there’s a stop button. He has a “merchandise” section which consists of a total of 2 T-shirts. Artest also has some kind of an attempt at a charity organization that he has dubbed “XCEL University”. In order for a child to be part of Xcel, he or she has to do a couple random things and then receives “free Kings tickets.” Uhhhh, Ronny Ron, you haven’t been on the Kings in over a year. That was 2 teams ago dawg. There’s also a bunch of pictures of Artest with groups of kids wearing PETA shirts. Nice dude, you’re doing charity work with the kids for PETA. Odds that Artest even knows what PETA is: not high.

Artest also has a public apology on the front page to “anyone who was offended by the language in his tribute song to Michael Jackson”. He certainly did not back down from his stance that MJ was indeed “his nigga”, though, so don’t worry. I’d like to end with a quote from the Biography section:

“While maturing and growing as a basketball player, family man, or defender of today’s youth, the future for Ron and the people that he touches with his heart, along with his drive to succeed and his passion to help others is a story that has just begun”. What the fuck??! I had to read that sentence like 3 times just to understand it. Spill the beans Ron, did you write part of this site yourself? Not to mention that is like the funniest quote ever….

Stay tuned tomorrow for a run-down of Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson’s recent Twitter activity.

#1 Freedom Defender looking for more blogging backup

Ok, so I haven’t really gotten around to writing on this blog in quite a while. But all that is about to change….. :
I’m looking to bring on some more “bloggers” to help contribute to this website. Ideally, we will have a rotation where someone is updating the blog once (or twice??!) a day, but there will be several people so each person only has to write every few days. That way, everyone has a chance to get “legitimate journalistic content” ready to post.

Here are the requirements if you want to join:

- You have to be competent at the english language. I can’t stand people who can’t spell or use correct grammar, so if you’re fucking retarded, you can’t blog. Sorry

- You have to be good at trolling – i.e. purposely posting content that you know will be controversial and/or just piss people off or be really funny. Not that anyone would ever do that on this blog…… you just have to be good at it.

- You have to actually post when you’re supposed to, and come up with decent material. The Internet is a pretty big place….it’s not hard to find stuff.

That’s pretty much it. So if you want to join the cool people in the “blogging” craze, just leave a message in the comments section of this post indicating your interest. I’m not sure if I actually want to post my e-mail…..just keep it to the comments for now.

And I’ll actually be updating this blog on a daily basis from now on until I get more people signed on. Aaaaaand I’ll post the Adlib interview to YouTube sometime this weekend if I can get everything working.

Oh, and no Twitter stuff. Twitter is for fags.

Can Cursive just die out already?

I decided to blog today about an issue important to all of our lives: the use or lack of use of the writing form known as “Cursive”.

I know this may be a tough one to swallow for some people, especially older generations, but here goes: Cursive is useless. Literally useless. There is absolutely no useful purpose that cursive serves in today’s society. I cannot remember a single instance in the last 10 years where I have read something in cursive and I have been glad or even approved that it was written in cursive.

So that brings us to the next point: Cursive needs to go – for good. Cursive may be useless, but that doesn’t stop people from still occasionally using it. I am so tired of every now and again having to fucking decode a handwritten note or letter from someone that is written in cursive. No, retard, the note is not easier to read because it is in cursive. You did not write the note faster because you used cursive. All you have accomplished is wasting a minute or two of my life that I would rather not spend trying to translate your chicken-scratch into accepted English.

I remember having to learn cursive back when I was a little kid. Even then, I thought to myself: “Man, this sure does seem useless. What purpose does this serve?” I would ask my teachers why we had to learn cursive. “Because it’s important! You use cursive all the time!” One day I decided that I would just never use cursive again. To this day, nothing negative has ever come from it.

By the same token, I remember back in gradeschool we were forced to learn to “touch-type” as it was called back in the day. We were led into a dark, dreary computer lab in a creepy basement where we were seated at computers made in the 1980s and forced to practice typing. They made us put these hilarious cardboard boxes over our hands on the keyboard so we couldn’t look at the keys – that way we were forced to learn to type without looking at the keys. I remember how we all complained and whined about having to do this. When were we ever going to use typing? (Nobody used computers back in those days). Well, today I can look back and say that learning to type was probably the most useful thing I ever learned in gradeschool. Gee, if only I could say the same thing about cursive….

In conclusion, cursive needs to be forcefully weeded out from our society and eventually flat out banned. Students who turn in assignments or notes in cursive should be given a 0. Employees who write in cursive should be disciplined or fired. Old people who write in cursive should just go die. It’s time to band together and unite against the worthless evil that is Cursive.

AdLiB interview incoming

I’m gonna do an interview soon on this blog with AdLiB, formerly known as Fidel Cashflow. He just released his new album, “Psychosis”, which is available for download at http://www.zshare.net/download/60118534e278ee08/. Stay tuned.

The real, Black father of Bristol Palin’s child.

http://livesteez.com/watch/sTUg5Wi/Father-of-Bristol-Palin-s-Baby-Speaks

So I guess the Abercrombie-wearing, hockey-playing white guy isn’t really the father of Palin’s daughter’s kid. It’s this black guy. He presents an articulate, mature argument for why he should be able to see his child.
By the way, check out out HIS MYSPACE FOR THA BANGEST NEW RAP HITSSSSSZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adobe Acrobat is the worst computer program ever made.

There is no program that is as useless, frustrating, and just plain flawed as Adobe Acrobat. To this day, I’m not even sure what adobe is used for, and why it is so widely used. Seriously, what is the purpose of this program? What the fuck can you use acrobat for that you can’t accomplish with a word processor, other than constantly freezing and/or crashing your computer?

Adobe just amazes me. You would think after like 20 years, they would have worked out the flaws with this piece of shit. No. The same exact problems exist in every subsequent version that comes out. It is mind-boggling. Every time I get an email with an adobe attatchment, or I have to view some webpage in adobe format, I instictively grit my teeth in anticipation of the chore that is to come.

I remember when i was 19 or so, I used to write hate emails to Adobe all the time, bashing on their shitty program. I’m not sure why I stopped. I think it’s time to write them one right now.

Woman gets 6 years for texting while driving, hitting and killing someone in a line of stopped cars.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090404/ap_on_re_us/text_crash

6 years? 6 years??? Are you serious? What the fuck is wrong with this country? Madoff gets 250 years for stealing imaginary money from a bunch of rich people, and this useless waste of human life here gets 6 fucking years for texting on her phone and running into a line of STOPPED CARS and KILLING SOMEONE?
Disgusting.